ReVamp is extremely proud to spotlight "Who We Love"- an Irish coming-of-age drama that explores significant issues around heavy and difficult elements such as the immense cruelty through bullying in schools that young gay, and lesbian people might be subjected to while actively depicting Dublin’s vibrant, and sometimes dark LGBTQ+ circumstances. 

Known for their critically acclaimed short film 'Lily', Director Graham Cantwell alongside award-winning writer Katie McNeice recently showcased their impeccable new offering 'Who We Love'; a feature-length drama nominated for six 'Irish Film and Television Awards' including 'Best Director' and 'Best Film'.

The project which stars the talented Clara Harte, Dean Quinn and award-winning actress Amy-Joyce Hastings with supporting roles from Danielle Galligan and Niamh McCormack (who will both be seen in the upcoming Netflix drama, 'House of Guinness' soon) is a must-watch for everyone around the world to witness the harsh realities that the vulnerable people from such under-represented groups might suffer from, and why we need more of such important films within the landscape of entertainment. 

ReVamp's Digital Editor Pankhuri Bhutani recently sat down with 'Who We Love' Director Graham Cantwell and writer Katie McNiece to talk more about this extremely impactful project- discussing the initial inspiration behind the film, what kind of message the creators wish to spread to the viewers through this offering, why such a film is very much needed especially during the contemporary era of movies, what's next for the two established creatives, and much more. 

Hi there Graham and Katie. Thank you so much for joining us on ReVamp! I obviously have to begin our conversation by asking you about your recent surreal film "Who We Love". This project is truly one of the most impactful films I've seen this year. First of all, huge
congratulations on that! Talk to me more about how the initial inspiration behind crafting this film came to you two?

GRAHAM: Thanks for having us, and thank you for those lovely words! The film was an adaptation of a short film I made a few years previously called LILY, which had great success on the festival circuit and picked up an IFTA nomination for best short film (the Irish equivalent of a BAFTA). Like the feature it revolved around a young girl figuring out how to come out to her friends and family, and the repercussions of how she went about it. It was inspired by my own experiences being bullied when I was young, and some of the many stories coming out during the marriage referendum in Ireland in 2015. I wanted to make a film that spoke to young people who were being bullied and said to them what I wished someone had said to me when I was going through something similar. When the short did so well we decided to try turning it into a feature to see if we could get the message out to more people.

What was your overall creative process like making this movie? Was there ever any challenge you faced during the production stage of the project?

KATIE: From the writing point-of-view, Graham and I had some initial conversations about why he wanted to make the film and what he was looking for in a co-writer. Being honest with each other about what these themes meant to us on an individual level meant we got to know each other quite quickly. I told Graham about challenging experiences I hadn’t discussed in ten or fifteen years, for instance. His own honesty and openness helped me to do that, and from there a mutual trust and understanding grew. I knew I could tell him anything at any time, even if that meant offering him critique, and that it worked both ways.

This really came through in the writing. We don’t live in the same city, so Graham would take the script for a week or so and work on specific sequences or themes, marking changes as he went with colour-coded tags in Final Draft. He’d put pens down and I’d do my pass, also marking what I’d changed and flagging what I thought we should work on next. We’d have chats on the phone or via email every few passes, clarifying what direction we were going in and teasing out broad issues versus more specific ones. Once we got into a rhythm the time flew and as of today, neither Graham nor I could tell you who wrote what line. We both combed through every inch of the script several times over.

GRAHAM: In terms of challenges there were many, as there always are on an independently financed film. Aside from the usual concerns about never having enough time or money we did have some curve balls thrown at us, chiefly the fact that right before we were meant to film our final series of pickups and reshoots the entire world shut down because of the Covid19 pandemic! We had a whole year of waiting to complete the film, never knowing if we were going to be able to finish it. When we did finally get back out on location the rules that were put in place in terms of how and where we could film were so restrictive that we had to get very creative in order to finish the film and make the pre and post pandemic footage blend together seamlessly. In some scenes in the film there are shots that were captured before the pandemic edited together with shots that were filmed a year later in a completely different location.

Thankfully we had a great team on the project who did a fantastic job marrying the two sets of footage.

A lot of times, people start a project with a narrow idea in mind yet when they make the film, they end up making several alterations and changes. So, are you happy with the final product that you see out there. Is it close to your initial visualisation of the movie or has there been a few changes ever since you started working on this production?

GRAHAM: A film is a living, breathing thing that is always in flux, and while we always set out with specific intentions in mind, things naturally change as different collaborators come on board and have creative input, and for logistical, financial or creative reasons the piece inevitably shifts away from its original design. This can be both a good or a bad thing, but I’ve found over the years that for the most part the positive outweighs the negative. There’s a quote from Paul Valéry that says “A poem is never finished, but merely abandoned”, and that holds equally true for film. There are always things you’d love to go back and tinker with, but at some stage you have to hold your hands up and let your baby out into the world. With WHO WE LOVE we’ve had so many positive responses to the film, both critically and from audiences and individuals, that we have to be happy with what we accomplished. At the end of the day we made the film to speak to young people who are enduring difficult times, to hopefully let them know that there is a way out of the darkness and that things do get better. As long as the film is doing that then we’re happy.

KATIE: This is a funny question for me because at the time I came on board the project, I was at the very early stages of my career. I had a stack of shorts written but not yet produced and had only just made the decision to direct my first short but hadn’t shot it. WHO WE LOVE went into production at the same time as my first short IN ORBIT, so I didn’t go through the process of seeing a script I’d worked on evolve into a finished film until after we finished writing. That meant the expectations I had for the finished film were all based on instinct, which in retrospect was a very cool experience for a first feature.

As Graham mentioned we got shut down before we had a chance to shoot pickups. This felt like a giant pain in the ass at the time but turned out to be a blessing. In much the same way as we went back and forth in the initial drafting of the script, we got to sit with the footage for longer than expected. Graham and I had conversations about pacing, performances, new ideas, etc. that we just wouldn’t have had, if the pandemic hadn’t struck. Several actors were stuck in the UK and unable to travel, so it took a bit of creativity in the writing to work around that too. The experience of finishing my first short film was under my belt at that point too and I loved a second shot at WHO WE LOVE with that extra shot of confidence.

Why do you think telling such a significant story is important in the current age and is there any specific message that you're trying to convey through this project?

GRAHAM: We are living through very troubled times, where young people can feel under siege from so many different quarters, but it is important to let them know that there are people out there who will have your back, and there are spaces where you can be yourself free from
judgement or intimidation. You just have to look for them. Film is still one of our greatest vehicles for communicating ideas and creating empathy. If we can, even in a small way, move the needle for someone who sees our film and feels less alone in the world, then the whole
process has been worth it.

KATIE: As of January 2025, bullying and ignorance toward the LGBTQ+ community is still rampant. 90 seconds on any social media platform will tell you that. For as long as hateful opinions exist, and for as long as hateful behaviour and a total lack of accountability continue, the significance of these stories can’t be overstated. I’ll repeat something Graham said to me when I first met him––”Katie, these kids are killing themselves.” WHO WE LOVE isn’t just a coming out story, it’s a portrayal of what it is for a person Lily’s age to experience bullying and be failed by those around her when she’s trying to figure out who she is.

So if there’s one thing I’d love people to take away from the film, it’s the power of allies. We need them at all ages and within every social unit you can possibly imagine. Though ideally people like Lily should advocate for themselves, there’s great power in someone stepping and
saying, ‘You can’t treat her like this. She does not deserve this. You are wrong and I will not tolerate what you are doing.’ Even in my own family, homophobia is accepted. I am more hurt by those who tell me to turn a blind eye than the person passing hateful comments about people like me. That person’s discomfort at being called a homophobe is not more important than my right to dignity, nor Lily’s. I think most people can understand that every person who exists deserves love. When you make a choice not to be an ally (and it is a choice) you’re not only saying they have no right to love––you’re saying loud and clear, and without ambiguity, that some people are deserving of hate. As someone who's been on the receiving end of this over and over, the one thing that’s possibly even more important than a bully stepping down is an ally stepping up.

For the ones who watched this film and are extremely inspired but are still struggling to come out of the closet, or accept showcasing their truest self to others, what kind of advice would you like to give to them?

KATIE: I’ve got the tagline of WHO WE LOVE tattooed on my arm in 12pt courier font. It says, ‘find your tribe.’ Whoever you are and wherever you might be, find a safe place to be yourself. That might be a specific place like an LGBTQ+ pub or social club, or it might be that one person
you can be yourself with. Be open to finding your tribe and it will come to you. However low you get and however unfair things become, you’re not the only one in this position and there’s someone out there who might need you as much as you need them. You are important enough to pick yourself up and find them.

What has been your most memorable moment of shooting this project? Perhaps a favourite sequence or a behind-the-scene memory?

GRAHAM: There are so many moments that were memorable for various reasons, but there’s one that sticks in my head. Coming up to our reshoots after the lockdown restrictions were lifted there was one particular scene I was struggling with as a writer. It’s when Lily and Simon are on a bridge in Dublin City Centre just after Lily has met Oonagh for the first time and Lily pours her heart out to Simon about how she feels about discovering her sexuality and coming out. I had written a speech for her but it never sat right with me. I knew what I wanted to say but just couldn’t find the right words. Katie had sent me a draft of an alternative, but again there was something missing. While we were on set waiting for it to get dark Katie and I stood on the bridge where the scene was to be shot and tried to figure out what was missing from the sequence. Katie wrote a new version of the piece into her phone and we took it to the hotel we were using as a production base and presented it to Clara Harte, who plays Lily. She had already memorised the previous version of the script, but she gamely agreed to tackle the new version with less than an hour to go to set. Between the three of us we workshopped the scene in the lobby of the hotel and as we were walking to the location Clara was running the lines over and over. We filmed the scene and it was electric. Clara gave a moving and powerful performance and the imagery captured in the city at night was beautiful. For me it was a perfect example of the power of collaboration and the possibilities that emerge when you are prepared to ask your team for help.

KATIE: When Graham sent me his initial draft of the script, he left a comment on the title page. It went something like, ‘The first thing you need to do is put your name on this. Welcome on board.’ I love that he did that. The title page is a small detail to assured, experienced writers who already feel they’ve proven their value. To a twenty-something year old newbie with a shyness I hadn’t gotten over just yet, it meant the world.

(Thank you for joining us on this lovely interview! Wishing you two lots of luck on all your future projects.)

Lastly, I'd love to know what's next for you, Graham and Katie? As well as for the people who are yet to be introduced to this film, why do you think people should watch "Who We Love"?

GRAHAM: We made the film primarily for two groups; young people who are having a hard time dealing with what life throws at them because of their sexuality, and older people who have young queer people in their lives, but are having a hard time connecting with them. My greatest hope for this film is that it acts as a bridge between generations, that it can serve as a conversation starter around any of the issues that we explore in the narrative. So if you are on the cusp of coming out, or you have someone in your life who you want to be able to relate to but are having difficulty doing it, watch the film, together or separately and talk about it, see where it takes you. Alternatively if you’re just looking for a funny, moving and heartfelt movie to pass the time then WHO WE LOVE fits the bill!

In terms of what’s next I’m currently working on a feature documentary about life in small town Ireland that revolves around the game of Camogie, the fastest grass based female sport in the world, which features in WHO WE LOVE. I’ve also got several projects for film and TV that are in various stages of development.

KATIE: I’ve got a really exciting project coming up called THE QUIET OCEAN. It’s a dystopian queer drama funded by the Screen Ireland Focus Shorts scheme. This is the last short film I’ll be doing before pivoting full time to features and television, and Barry Smyth’s script has
charmed the pants off some very talented cast and crew, including Producer Fiona Kinsella. I know we’re going to have great fun on that shoot.

I’m also in post-production on my Irish language short FOCAIL BAILE CROÍ (WORDS HOME HEART). This film is funded by Comórtas Fisín and Screen Kerry and it's a gentle reimagining of grief as but one great privilege of love. I’ve got a feature film in development with Wild Atlantic Pictures based on Meg Grehan’s book THE DEEPEST BREATH. I’m also actively working on a slate of feature and television concepts which are under review for development funding with various Irish and European schemes. All going to plan, I’ll be writing my heart out in the latter half of 2025 once my shorts are done and dusted.